If you have been following news reports that regularly trickle out through Nigerian media outlets, you would be familiar with a raging giant walking across our nation: child sexual molestation.
This heinous crime has become so prevalent that children (whether male or female) can no longer be entrusted with adults – Christian and Muslim clerics, teachers, lawyers, policemen, even family relatives.
Just some hours ago, a presenter on TVC, Morayo Afolabi-Brown said:
“I absolutely trust my husband but I won’t take chances and have him bathe my daughter, because whether we like it or not, there is something flying in the air these days that is encouraging imbalance and immoralities”
Though this statement has made many Nigerians on social media go bonkers, if we view it from another angle, she has a point.
Oh please keep your stones, I know why I said that. I used to have a friend during my university days, a born again, tongue-talking brother who attends a church where they slay demons here and there, who actually admitted that he can have sex with his daughter if she seduces him, because, “body no be firewood.” And his fellow “brother in the Lord” agreed.
Now, don’t you think that’s a paedophilic tickling time bomb waiting to happen when horny daddy (he’s now married) bathes his daughter while mama isn’t home?
Haven’t we read of fathers (many of whom are overtly religious, by the way) defiling and even impregnating their own daughters?
There is something flying these days in the heads of many men and women and it’s a sick, disgusting, depraved, perverted, and dare I say, demonic craving – because it takes a devilish mind invasion for a father to defile his daughter.
The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5), defines paedophilia as a mental disorder involving intense and recurrent sexual urges towards and fantasies about prepubescent children that have either been acted upon or which cause the person with the attraction distress or difficulty.
Typically, anyone who has had a pattern of sexual arousal — as manifested by persistent sexual thoughts, fantasies, urges, or behaviours — involving pre-pubertal children is a paedophile. (Please note that female puberty usually begins around the age of 12).
Both genders can fall victim of paedophilia. I have read some rather disgusting confessions of two female paedophiles on Stella Dimorko Korkus blog that have sexually abused a boy and even a baby!
I have known a five year old girl who was raped by her father’s trusted 26 year old apprentice and warned never to tell anyone or she would die. She began to bleed and by the time she told her mom what was done to her, it was too late. She bled to death. This happened in my area in 2008 and I personally know this family.
The tragic case of Ochanya Ogbaje’s rape in the hands of a fiendish man and his deranged son wasn’t an isolated one, it merely gave a trending face to similar cases that have been sadly buried under the gravel of a culture of silence.
Just this week, the United Nations released a report showing that Nigeria ranks the 11th highest country of the world where girls are raped in the name of marriage.
That is one of the lasting legacies of the influence of Arabian tradition on Northern Nigeria. Some shameless advocates of paedophilia from the North crawled out of their caves to react to this report by deploying an insane logic that it’s better for a child to be raped in the name of “marriage” by some filthy old man than to become a child prostitute.
This line of thinking is too absurd for me to contemplate on, because even as a single young man, I don’t find a child sexually appealing. A nude child can only appeal to my fatherly instincts. I still wonder how some men can have an erection in such instances.
Psychiatrists are not sure what precisely makes men to go after little girls (or boys), but in virtually every case of a paedophile being clinically assessed, they have been found to have other mental abnormalities such as anxiety (especially with grown women), depression, narcissism, psychopathy and neurotic disorders.
This bring us to the necessity of Nigerians being informed about mental health issues and correcting the widely held false notion that mentally ill people are just folks spotting a dreadlock and dancing shaku shaku without clothes on at Yaba market.
Paedophiles are mentally ill, period. And if you are reading this and feel sexual attractions toward young girls or boys, then seek counseling, prayer or psychotherapy.
Our legal institutions need to review and amend the ambiguous clauses in our laws that give approval to child marriage. Religious traditions that foster this must also be jettisoned. Our girls need education, not sex. They need pens, not penises.
Finally, there should be sex education. Children should be taught about their body parts and that no one has a right to touch their gentitals – whether it’s a house maid, driver, family friend, teacher or religious leader. Parents need to be alert with their wards and watch out for clues of abuse.
This nation is becoming unsafe for children. But their future needs to be protected. Join the move.